Student Art in Focus: One Day I Shall Win, You Bastard
This week in ‘Student Art in Focus’ (or SAIF as we call it on the street) we have had the privilege to have been donated this fantastic, multimedia creation by a member of the Faculty of Physical Sciences. The Artist, who prefers to remain unnamed, is rumoured to have created this masterpiece whilst in a fit of rage after losing a long ‘Battleships’ game to a computer.
Needless to say this picture gives me a headache. The artist is trying to tell us so much and ram heaps of symbolism and metaphor into our lowly heads that we as common people cannot look at it without cringing and trying to turn away in anguish. So much so that when the piece was exhibited in its full size (25m x 52m) in the Tate Modern, the room was rarely populated at all. However I have taken several Ibuprofens in preparation and am ready to untwine his train of thought.
The obvious theme of this piece is premature ejaculation while more discreet undercurrents of invasion and illness are present. The red rectangular ‘beasts’ are clearly homing in on the indistinct shape in the centre. Vulnerable and alone, the attackers rip and tear at the perfect body, distorting its limbs and ruining its symmetry. This has blatant parallels with the paparazzi and Jodie Marsh, but could also be a satire on the theme of Christmas shopping. Crazed shoppers rush towards the displays of organic turkeys and rip them apart in desperation. Fillets may fly.
But what of the mystery shape that is appearing at the top right of the picture? Is it the cure (no, not the band, you fuckwit)? Is it a garden gnome’s falling from the metaphorical sky? Or is it the next piece of revolutionary art by The Artist waiting to outwit this one and its critics? He certainly keeps us hanging onto the edge of our seats and I, for one, can’t wait for the next instalment.
This week’s criticism was by Dr T. Pea
Dr T. Pea is a lecturer of Materials at the Royal Academy. He is world expert in the field of Felt Tips. His favourite coloured pens in school were Crayola Stamp ‘n’ Scribble Felt Tips.
