Living the hedge fund intern dream
- 0600 – Dammit, time to wake up!
- 0631 – Get in (almost at the right time for once...)
- 0635 – Talk to CIO about the overnight. Try to seem clever and blurt out that no one should be long gamma right now – get snickered at. Other interns look confused.
- 0700 – Feel dejected after being called arrogant (again), even if it was a joke
- 0730 – After some sulking and a quick read of the latest news, start doing some real work
- 0731 – Hacking away on model to trade an index on price action almost exclusively
- 0737 – Get up to get some coffee
- 0800 – Battling Excel’s unintuitive ways
- 0844 – Was that the hot secretary? Didn’t even notice her coming in.. what’s happening to me?
- 1015 – Change the CD on the floor ... Damn Callas is getting on my nerves. Would like to see her building my model and see if it was something to sing about
- 1215 – Look up at big picture on Bloomberg .. No one cares about the Bovespa, why is it even on there?
- 1252 – More grunting is going on. Excel is not helping. Stupid Bloomberg API. Darn, I’m hungry.
- 1254 – Chick intern complains she’s hungry. I tell chick intern ‘lunch is for wimps’. Damn, I’m hungry, but now can’t even say anything.
- 1309 – Swallow pride and confess hunger. Chick intern smirks – I feel like bitchslapping her. Grab a sandwich, eat it at desk. Still feel empty.. I wish I had some tiramisu.. perhaps a steak?
- 1319 – More coffee
- 1322 – Wow, Facebook is not blocked. Feel too guilty to be on it, even at ‘lunch’. Log off
- 1325 – Excel is grinning at me, saying ‘Come to papa’. Papa goes to Excel...
- 1433 – Why is it so hot, and why is it that I’m having trouble nesting a simple IF function?
- 1525 – CIO opens a nice position... leveraged 600%. Looks at ticker for 25 seconds, retreats back to desk without a word... Feel a bit puzzled
- 1550 – “Get ready, you’re meeting my biggest client” says the almighty
- 1600 – He really is big, humoungous even, morbidly obese. Probably needs a gastric bypass. Very plump red face, very bald, very hot assistant
- 1602 – “You look young, how old are you, 17?”. I think “Does a 17 yo have more hair on his chest than you do on your head?”; I actually say “No sir, I’m a few years older. 21 is a good age”..
- 1603 – The guy wants to know what the CIO will do if he gives him more money. CIO is a rock and gives him a general gist, failing to provide a single tangible piece of information. What a hardass.. I like it.
- 1635 – The whale exits having left a commitment for a nice wad of cash
- 1636 – CIO doesn’t show it, but I bet he feels smug, like a Big Fucking Swinging Dick
- 1751 – Chick intern talks as she chews gum. I tell her she’s getting on my nerves. She looks away. HOW IS THAT OFFENSIVE?!
- 1820 – Model is finally making some sense, after fixing circularity error. Write “T-1” on post-it. Stick on computer. Will probably get unstuck overnight and I’ll use “T” next day again..
- 1850 – CIO gets up – talks about discipline. Am thinking I’ve read this all before.. He says “I’m sure you’re thinking you’ve read all this before, but I’ll still engrave it on your mind – I wiped out a sizable portion of my gains for the year in two days because I thought I was better than the markets and didn’t respect my own rules. Market rallied the day after I cut my losses... I still don’t regret respecting my stop, although it feels like shit”
- 1902 – Speech over, rather inspiring seeing him so calm after talking about such a massive loss. Collected, non-chalant, humble. There’s something to be said about the balance between hubris, self-knowledge and humility.
- 1934 – Looking at my screens, lean back on my chair, and thinking I’d do this until 3am if needed.
- 1950 – Told to go home in 10 mins. Got off early for once.. Sun is still up. Brilliant!
- 2003 – Am out. Sit down in front of the sea. Look at the sky... never knew there could be so many hues. Tomorrow’s all about green and red again...
