"I love me booze, I love meat, I love pretty women."
"Louisa, Hello", the instantly familiar voice gently breathed down the phone. Imperial College PhD student, Louisa Jane-Evans had just been greeted by the one and only Ian Smith, better known as Harold Bishop.
Recall Neighbours, 1991. On the coast somewhere in Australia, a harsh wind whipped against the jagged rocks. Harold `was clambering over the rocks on the beach while Madge was being chatted up by the artist.' Peering into the water Harold `spotted a dark shadow in the water - was it a shark?' Curiosity got the better of him as he `bent closer to take a look'. Water and lichen made the boulders greasy. Harold began `losing his purchase on the jagged rocks ... falling into the sea'.
Harold Bishop was dead. Or so we thought. Ian Smith returned to the show five years later reprising his role as Harold, albeit with a syndrome common to returning soap opera characters amnesia. Eventually, he regained part of his memory, but he couldn't remember what happened during those five years.
This is where Louisa entered. The BBC had created a website titled, Harold Bishop: The Lost Years, where players could predict what happened during those five years in which Harold went missing. A competition was also being run. Entrants had to write a script explaining what happened to Harold after he fell into the ocean. Louisa won; her prize a signed copy of her script by the shows cast and best of all, an interview with Ian Smith.
"Louisa, hello", this was certainly not the first person Smith had made star-struck, just by saying their name. Having been on Neighbours for the best part of two decades, Harold has become a household name. He is renowned for being a kind, gentle and placid character; rarely the centre of controversy. On the other hand, who is Ian Smith? Most Neighbours actors are shackled by the persona they portray. Karl Kennedy, Lou Carpenter, Harold Bishop these are all such loved characters, that upon seeing their face or hearing their voice, one immediately associates them with someone from Ramsay Street. "Give me a break!" protests Smith. "I'd have to kill myself if I was like Harold. No, I love me booze, I love meat, I love pretty women."
So, Ian Smith is a carnivorous, chauvinistic alcoholic? Hardly. "I agree with everything the old fart does" he continues, "His basic trip is `do and honest days work for an honest days pay', don't hurt anyone and don't lie. You've gotta agree with all the stuff he says, it's just the way he puts it." Smith highlights Harold's old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy values.
But recently, in the UK anyway, Harold has behaved very unexpectedly as a result of three Bishop family members perishing in the tragic aeroplane disaster. The stress got to the poor man and in one episode he swung and punched Karl Kennedy. "I punched him?" Smith is bewildered. "I don't remember punching Karl! I do remember @*£$%". Smith has just let one fat ginger-tom out of the spoilers bag. His forgetfulness is a sign of the inner Harold Bishop emerging. "Now, you've got to sign a thing and if you tell anyone we'll kill you!" Perhaps not, Harold would never even joke about such drastic prevention measures!
Smith isn't the only cast member to leave and return to the show. Our boy, Joe Mangel, is another. One actor that everyone would love to see return is Holly Valance, who played Flick Scully. Sadly, rumours weren't greeted with the desired response: "I would love to say that was true. I haven't heard that. I love that kid, she's wonderful. They are bringing in some older people now and again, but I haven't heard that" about Valance. How disappointing.
| Harold Bishop Vs. Ian Smith | |
BORN 1987, Neighbours producers create Harold Bishop FAMILY Father: Frank Bishop Wife: Madge Bishop Son: David Bishop Daughter-in-law: Liljana Bishop Daughter: Kerry Bishop Granddaughters: Serena Bishop and Sky Mangel LIFE Owned coffee shop. Diagnosed with amnesia in 1996. Devout Salvationist. DEATHS Died himself in 1991. Wife died of cancer. Daughter shot and killed. Remaining family killed in plane crash. | BORN 1939, Peg Kline gave birth to Ian Smith FAMILY Adopted mother: Connie Smith Natural mother: Peg Kline Two half-brothers LIFE Discovered he was adopted aged 54, then sought to find his real mother. Smith has built a strong relationship with his mother and half-brothers. Began career in musical theatre. Made a name for himself as an actor in Australian television. DEATHS Lost his adopted mother when he was 54. |
Clearly Smith adores Valance, and who wouldn't? He recalls a promotional trip to the UK: "We went to... oh God Ian, come on, think. A famous university city, um..." Smith appears to be losing his marbles; everyone knows of London and South Kensington... "Oxford! Oxford! Oxford!" Oh, Oxford... whatever. "We went there for the day and did a live broadcast from there. I'm not kidding you, and I know it was because of Holly, there wasn't a seminar for the entire day; we stopped Oxford! It was wonderful! And all the guys were just openly lusting over her, which I would expect."
Valance left Neighbours to begin a pop career, like many other Ramsay Street members such as Kylie Minogue and Delta Goodrem. However, few people know that record companies demanded an album from Ian Smith too. "I made one last year" he explains "We did it as a joke. We cut a song called I Don't Want To Be A Pop Star. It was a joke and all the labels wanted it, but they would only do it if I did an album." The record companies were persistent, but Smith remained adamant: "I said: `Guys, listen to the name: I Don't Want To Be A Pop Star.' The record company replied: `Yeah, sure, that's a joke; now we want to do an album.' I just wasn't prepared to do an album."
It's easy to understand why the record companies wanted Smith to do a record though. Imagine Harold Bishop on Top of the Tops. It's a perfect gimmick; a well respected, senior household name singing pop songs. Old ladies would melt at the sound of that voice serenading them. Thankfully though, Smith didn't sell his soul to Beelzebub's minions. Unlike Mark Little (Joe Mangel's stunt double), who can currently be seen in a pink dress advertising car insurance for Sheila's Wheels. Smith disagrees though; he doesn't believe Mark Little has sold out: "Doesn't everyone do that? That's the way I think of Mark all the time; in a pink dress." Louisa interrupts wittily: "Oh right! So it was just coming out rather than selling out?" Smith responds: "No, no... what goes on in Mark Little's brain is for Mark Little to know and understand only." Make of that, what you will.
Smith started off his career about 45 years ago in musical theatre, but he made a name for himself in television. His talents also stretch to scriptwriting, having written for Prisoner: Cell Block H. Amateur theatre is "the best way to start off in the business" he advises. "Join an amateur company and make a fool of yourself there. [Make sure you] know what you're doing in the scene. That's the most important thing. Work out why you are in the scene before you start. If you know what your action is, you know what to do and you always leave yourself somewhere to go. You always find the famous amateur thing is that as soon as the word `action' happens, they tend to go straight for the throat and leave themselves nowhere to go. [Just tone it down a little bit] and work up to it."
However, it is difficult for Australian actors to get a break into the business. "Unfortunately, in this country, we're not very fond of the home-grown product; it has to come from overseas. We thought we got over that hill, but no, it's still going on. Now, we [Neighbours] are the only locally produced show in Victoria that is happening. It's very sad." Contemporary Australian television is in a drought. Inevitably, the country has been taken over by reality television shows and colossus American series. Yet, as sad as this may be, it is a testament to Neighbours' quality and success that it has managed to overcome the pressures and continue so strongly. The recent 20th Anniversary special was a well deserved self-congratulation by the shows creators and the aeroplane saga exemplifies how the show is still as strong as ever. Also, if the spoilers let out by Smith are anything to go by, the world is in for a treat! Come to the Felix office for the full scoop!
A voice in Smith's ear means it's almost time for him to bid farewell. The voice is unclear. Perhaps a producer has requested his presence on set, or maybe it's Harold luring him to slip back into chinos and familiar knitted jumpers ready to face whatever the cruel world throws at him next.
Louisa's winning script can be found at www.bbc.co.uk/drama/neighbours/games/lostyears.shtml.
