RON (Re-open Nominations)
So who are you?
RON (Jeremy), world-renowned adult-movie star Lothario. With a big willy. Seriously, RON (Re-Open Nominations) is your only option if you think none of the other candidates are capable of doing a good job. If RON wins the election, nominations will re-open, and other people will have the opportunity to put themselves forward for election. We might finally get some good students.
What are you doing here then?
Making sure that no person incompetent of running the union gets in. If people aren't satisfied with the candidates, they should vote RON, and hopefully the next time round some decent candidates will stand.
Aren't you just a wasted vote?
Most definitely not. A vote for a candidate who won't do a good job is a wasted vote.
OK if that's the case, tell us what the mighty RON would do if he got into each position.
As president, I would disband union events as nobody goes. I would reinvest the funds in providing transport and cheap access to King's College Union. I would also implement a maximum trouser-height code.
As for Deputy President (Finance and Services), I have already won! They feared my girth! So I do not need to have any policies on this issue.
As Deputy President (Clubs and Services), my first role would be to evaluate clubs that are of no benefit for the Union. I suspect that one of the first to go would be Sci-fi and perhaps Meat Appreciation.
Education and Welfare: I will encourage more entertainment in the library, such as a water slide. I will also inform students of changes that will affect them, such as the closure of Waterstone's. I'm also a natural performer and will talk in public.
My policies also cover graduate students. I would disband the position, as I don't think it's an appropriate use of College funds.
As Felix editor I would continue the sterling work of the current editor, but as a porn star, I believe Felix could cater to the adult market more. I feel I could also apply some extra creamy goodness to the food and drink section.
