Raging Dyke fails to stop IC 3rds
Men's Football
Imperial College 3rd XI 2
Greenwich 3rd XI 2
There are many things that could be embarrassing for a footballer in this day and age. Having the state of the hair on your balls constantly discussed. Admitting that your girlfriend plucks your eyebrows. Or soiling yourself whilst on the way to Tesco. More embarrassing than any of these for the mighty Thirds this year was getting thrashed by Greenwich Thirds 8-1 earlier this season. Recently our seconds played the same team, and players who took part in both matches allegedly failed to recognise any of the original team, suggesting more ringing took place in the first match than a quiet weekend in for Quasimodo.
With this in the back of our minds we travelled to the middle of nowhere for the return fixture, fresh off the back of a rousing cup victory against Kings 1sts and impressive subsequent performances. Despite a ridiculously short warm up, the match started with both teams playing some good attacking football. Unfortunately, one protagonist in this unlikely tale of flowing football refused to let the game run smoothly. Any time the ball went out of play at the side of the pitch, it rolled down a slightly incline and into a deep drainage ditch, thus creating five minute breaks in play whilst the smallest Greenwich player was lowered into the channel by his ankles in order to retrieve the ball.
Despite the lack of continuous football, the Thirds began to boss the game. With Matt Maggiolini providing some attacking flair on the right and Greg, Pete and Mike providing steel in the middle, it seemed only a matter of time until a goal came. Unfortunately, the best chance in the first half fell to Tim with a long range shot which despite initially being on target was more bent than a nine bob note and nearly went out for a throw in. Some composed defending from the back four kept the scores level until half time, all the while being marshalled by the impressive Frank in goal, who you may well remember from flashing as much pubic hair as possible on page three.
Shortly after the break our sustained pressure began to tell. Shwin picked up the ball a fair way out, and spotting the keeper off his line decided to test him with a powerful drive. Soon after Shwin got one in the back of the net for real, chasing Frank's long kick and roasting the fat oaf of a centre back, planting the ball over the keeper, off the bar and over the line. Despite the referee ruling that the ball had in fact bounced back out, Shwin hammered the ball back towards the net with a healthy deflection to put us deservedly ahead. Unfortunately, Shwin then missed perhaps the best chance of the match after Tarik's beautiful `accidentally on purpose' knock down from a cross, blasting over the bar.
There was enough time for our defence to be troubled, with their striker breaking free from his own half and beating our back line before taking it past Frank. However, the idiot hadn't counted for Mike Hughes relentlessly tracking back and blocking his shot on the line. Soon after though, we added to our score, with Greg chasing down another clearance from Frank and lifting it past the keeper to score his first ever goal for IC, and give him a chance to wheel out his ridiculous (but undeniably arousing) celebration, the `Hunter'. That was how it stayed until full time, with a last ditch tackle from Tim denying SDog, their whippet like winger, a chance on goal. The only thing left was to celebrate by Shatters shouting `Bang Bang' loudly several hundred times, as the Thirds were left to celebrate a long awaited win in BUSA.
