RUMS vermin taught a lesson!
Men's Football
ICS 6th XI 3
RUMS 4th XI 2
Fuge's cartel rolled out onto the Harlemton burial ground for their last home game of the season before expecting another 5 more games to be played away from the fortress that is Imperial's sports ground. The loss of several key players, including in form keeper Chaz, who suffered strained knee ligaments at Kings, meant that the 6ths' form of late was lacking any real va va voom.
Change inevitably came however, and after some harsh words in the changing rooms and through the plethora of team emails the 6ths were back to fighting spirit. Gone was the 3 5 2 of late that had simply not been working, and back was a re-branded and more offensive 4 4 2, together with some kit bag porn, courtesy of the Lobster. Unfortunately, for £2.60, lets just say a cannibal hoping to gain more meat off a bloke by showing him `Midwife Razzle' would be better off settling for a hotdog. We were playing RUMS 4ths, and yes, they're medics.
Ed Hughes played in goal, with Ant Brown and James Skeen filling in left and right back. Skeenoo was once again heavily hungover after his antics the night before. If you do see Skeen around ask him how that last pint tasted on the bayswater bonanza. Centre backs were Ed "the Lobster" Lobb, who had put us out of the cup with a sweet own goal a week ago, and Paul Sceziakakzak from the 7ths.
Bossing the centre midfield was Hamish "women should be obscene and not heard" Mooknaley, who managed to lose our whole kit just after Christmas and cannot remember a thing of the night in question, and Ben "the swooping vulture" Hasted. Left wing was Rich "Super-rich" McSherry and on the right Ashot "the Cypriot Assassin" Kassabian. Up front featured Simon "Batmn" Parker partnered by loan signing from A.C. Milan Andriy Shevchenko. As the game kicked off, one thing was soon apparent - RUMS 4ths were absolutely rubbish. Most of the game was played in their half as we began stringing some nice moves together. Our wingers always looked threatening whilst anything their defence managed to clear was brought back under control by Ben and Hamish. Our back four also played a firm role in preventing any rear guard penetration. Their keeper pulled off two or three good saves from Rich, Shev, and Batmn.
The breakthrough came when a fast run down the left by Rich, lead to a cross which was poorly cleared allowing the ball to bobble to the edge of the box. Ashot came careering in from the right and let an absolute screamer fly off the laces of his right boot. The ball was like an air-to-air missile, one foot off the ground for all the 25 yards that it screamed through the air into the bottom corner. 1-0 and we were feeling comfortable. We continued to pressure them for the rest of the half, but their keeper kept them in the game as the it ended 1-0.
After the halftime interval the injured Shev came off for Rob Yates, with Ashot being moved up front. With only two minutes played their keeper fumbled a goal kick, hitting it straight to Ashot, who skinned a defender, and slotted home for 2-0 keeping us on course for a sweet victory. More simple passing play meant that we maintained possession as their agitation continued to grow. Passing across the back and the midfield was a great improvement over the last few games. Shortly after we got a corner, dispatched by Super Rich into the box, with Ben showing once again why he is know as the swooping vulture: he is unable to score with his feet and has to dive, even if the ball is half a foot off the ground and score with his head. 3-0. At this point we had two choices. A) score another 3 and destroy them because they were rubbish B) let them back into the game. In true 6ths team spirit we decided upon B. Their left back hit a shot from about 35 yards which Ed Hughes was unable to stop going into the back of the net. Two minutes later we conceded a corner. The ball was swiftly delivered to the edge of the box and nodded towards goal. As Ed was approaching to claim it, in came Hamish to nod the ball around Ed and score an own goal, now custom in the 6ths. 3-2 with 20 minutes left. At this point we failed to do the simple things, i.e. pass the ball around and retain possession. We reverted to pointless clearances and allowed them to play for the next ten minutes. Their 2nd team, who had just played our 4ths, gathered on the touchline and proceeded to abuse us and our ref for the remainder of the match. However, the Fuge did well to counter their breeze chat with a few volleys of lyrical finesse, including the original `F*!k you', and "Go spank an egg you medic t&*t !" Nam came on for a tired Ashot, and helped us keep the ball up the pitch as much as possible. We started playing again towards the end, and battled it out for a much needed 3 points. Man of the match goes to Ashot for his endless running and amazing first goal.
Everyone played well and gave it everything, which is what matters regardless of the score line. After a satisfying win, the celebrations continued long into night, which has now become a post match tradition. Lobster and the Mook were stopped by the police, and the captain endured another dirty pint as promised in the pre-match team talk in the case of a win. Skeenoooo was once again an easy target at matchbox, which was thoroughly deserved since he fell over on his own while running backwards in the match and shredded the kit bag porn. Come Valentines day however, I'm sure all the pages will be firmly
